Already not a good day.

What is it that makes PEOPLE - who think they're the higher order beings on this planet - treat other beings in such horrible ways? It's like they're all George Bush clones, assuming they know something and have the moral authority to dictate life and death. It's laughable, when it isn't horrifyingly stupid. Examples from the last 24 hours:

Three teens accused of burning dog alive
Three teens are accused of burning a dog alive in what animal rescuers from central Georgia called one of the worst examples of animal cruelty in they have ever seen.

NFL quarterback Michael Vick implicated in dog fighting
Two different sources in law enforcement say NFL quarterback Michael Vick not only knew about the dog fighting at a house he owned, but that he was an active participant at the fights that allegedly took place behind the house.

Some idiot cut off a German Shepherd's ears
An anonymous phone call led investigators to the balcony of an apartment building where the dog was crying and pawing at his ears.

No garbage in and no garbage out

The hippie types over at Green Options Blog have a good article today on how to be more eco-friendly with your pet. Among other things, they point out where to get sustainably grown pet food, eco-friendly toys and leashes (hemp, of course), biodegradable pick-up bags and wheat based kitty litter for your smelly cat.

I personally hate the idea of plastic pick-up bags. Just because some people don't want good ol' NATURAL fertilizer on their lawn (or shoe), landfills are full of perfectly biodegradable substances wrapped in non-biodegradable bags. What sense does that make?

Ever the compromiser, I use Bio-Bags, which are made from GMO-free corn starch. They cost about the same as the ridiculously marked up plastic bags you find in pet stores, and they even make cat pan liners. Unfortunately the bags are made in Norway and I can't find anything on the company's international site about buying points to offset the carbon emissions from transportation. If you're concerned about that, you can ask them here.

In East Dallas, I get mine at Green Living. They're also available from Clean Air Gardening, which, according to JetsonGreen, just bought a new building in town.

GO HOME HEIDI.

NEW: The ad on cragslist has been "deleted by user." I wonder if that means Heidi made it home.



Heidi, you don't need to run away to get media attention. If anybody sees this golden, please remind her that the best way to make the papers is to do what comes natural and expose her crotch a la Britney. And then take her home.

And if you're in kennedale and see some errant sheep, do the same. Sheep are SO dumb.

GRAND OPENING OF TWISTED DOG'S APPAREL

SO MANY OF YOU HAVE ASKED, WHERE CAN I GET A TWISTED DOG T-SHIRT, COFFEE CUP OR BUMPER STICKER? I FIND IT COMPLETELY ANNOYING. BUT NOW, YOU CAN GET SUCH STUFF AT MY NEW ONLINE STORE, TWISTED DOG'S APPAREL.

FEEL FREE TO SHOP TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT AND OUTFIT YOURSELF WITH THE FINEST GOODS MONEY CAN BUY.

AND NEVER AGAIN SAY I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU.

BE KIND TO ANIMALS WEEK

IT'S OVER. I'M SURE A LOT OF YOU WERE AWARE OF IT AND WENT OUT OF YOUR WAY TO FEED YOUR PETS CAVIAR AND WHATNOT. I'M SURE YOU ACTIVELY LOOKED TO FIND STRAY ANIMALS AND ADOPT THEM. I'M SURE YOU JUMPED AT THE CHANCE TO DONATE TO THE SPCA.

NONE OF YOU DID ANYTHING FOR ME PERSONALLY, HOWEVER.

GIMP STEALS RACCOON

THIS HORRIFIC STORY ON PEGASUS NEWS HAS TO BE THE MOST AMAZING AND DESPICABLE STORY OF THE YEAR.

PARIS HILTON IS A SLIMY HO.

JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT. REPORTS SAY THAT THIS IDIOT IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HIRE A DOG TO ACCOMPANY HER TO SOME BRIT AWARDS SHOW. FIRST OFF, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LIMEYS REWARDING HER FOR? SECONDLY, PARIS HILTON IS A DOG KILLER!! I AM URGING ALL YOU BRIT PUPS TO CONVERGE ON THAT CEREMONY AND CEREMONIOUSLY PISS ON EVERY DESIGNER GOWN YOU CAN FIND. I MEAN, IS THIS ANY WAY TO HOLD A DOG?




IS SHE STRANGLING THE DOG HERE? QUITE!:

¡MUERDA SUS ENTRERROSCAS APAGADO, TINKERBELL! GRRR.

CELEBS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO HAVE DOGS (ESPECIALLY THAT DOG-KILLING WHORE PARIS). CATS ARE OK, THEY'RE ALL STUCK-UP PUSSIES ANYWAY. BUT WITH A CELEB, A DOG JUST CAN'T BE A DOG. CASE IN POINT: THE CHI-TRIB REPORTS ON A NEW MAG CALLED THE HOLLYWOOD DOG, AN OBVIOUSLY HUMAN VENTURE THAT CONTAINS A "DOGGIE PSYCHIC," "PUPERAZZI PICS" OF DOGS AND THEIR CELEBS, AND EVEN OBITUARIES. JESUS. CAN I GET A COLLECTIVE SNEER? WHAT WE NEED IS A SCRATCH-N-SNIFF, GODDAMMIT.