UP THE BEACH

I WENT COASTAL YESTERDAY! THERE'S NO SEAGULL ALIVE THAT DOESN'T FEAR ME!!!! NO DUNE I HAVEN'T PEED ON!!!! NO SAND CRAB I HAVEN'T CHASED BACK DOWN HIS HOLE!!! I RULE THE BEACH!!!

You're lazy

BUT I'M NOT

JUST RIDICULOUS

TODAY I GOT YELLED AT TWICE FOR TRYING TO CHASE CATS. WHY CAN'T I CHASE CATS? CATS CHASE BIRDS, MICE, CRICKETS AND ALL SORTS OF SHIT. I PROMISE I'D NEVER LEAVE A DEAD CAT ON ANYBODY'S DOORSTEP OR TORTURE THE THING (MUCH). IT'S JUST RACISM.

IDIOTS

TODAY SOME LADY PETTED ME ON THE HEAD AND THEN REMARKED THAT SHE HATED DOGS. DO YOU SEE HOW IRRESISTIBLE I AM?

INTERNET PORN

I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I SO GET OFF TO THESE PICS. I COULD JUST LICK MYSELF ALL DAY LONG TO THEM. THOUGH, I'D PROBABLY BE DOING THAT ANYWAY.

SAPS

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO LEFT YOUR INFORMATION AT THE STOP SIGN. I'VE SENT ALL YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS TO SPAMMERS AND IDENTITY THIEVES. AS IF I'D HAVE A PARTY AND INVITE YOU.

R.S.V.PEE

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LETTERS OF CONCERN WHILE I WAS UNEXPECTEDLY ABSENT YESTERDAY, YOU UNCARING BASTARDS.

I'M HAVING A SMALL GET-TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND IN HONOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL BEER FEST. IF YOU PLAN TO COME, PLEASE LEAVE A SQIRT AT THE STOP SIGN ON THE CORNER OF 22ND AND MAIN THAT INCLUDES YOUR BREED, SEX, AGE AND VACCINATION STATUS. NO NEUTERED MALES (LIKE THE GUY ABOVE).