BAD DAY! BAD DAY!

HOLY CRAP, IT'S A HORRIBLE DAY FOR DOGS. I HATE TO BE A DOWNER, BUT JESUS CHRIST, JUST LOOK AT THIS:

IN EDMONTON, CANADA, A LADY STABS HER DOG WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE, TWICE. WHAT? THE POOR DOG IS IN THE HOSPITAL, BUT EXPECTED TO SURVIVE.

AN A-HOLE IN PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA, TELLS A JUDGE THAT HE'S "MISUNDERSTOOD" AFTER BEING CHARGED WITH DRAGGING HIS DOG BEHIND HIS CAR. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THAT. THE POOR MUTT'S PAWS WERE COMPLETELY RIPPED OFF, AND HE'S UNDERGOING TREATMENT AT A SHELTER.

AND SOME LOSERS IN CONN. SUED TO SHUT DOWN A DOG PARK, CLAIMING THE PARK WASN'T LEGIT BECAUSE KIDS UNDER 10 WEREN'T ALLOWED. SEEMS LIKE A PERFECTLY LEGIT REASON TO ME. FORTUNATELY THE JUDGE IN THE CASE WENT ALL JOHNNY COCHRAN ON THEIR ASS, SAYING, "THE FIGHT OVER THE PARK'S USE, IS MORE LIKE LITIGATION ABUSE." TAILS UP FOR THAT JUDGE!

THANK CHRIST, THERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS OUT THERE, AS WELL. CHICAGO FIREFIGHTERS RESCUED A MASTIF WHO'D SMARTLY CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOF TO ESCAPE THE FLAMES FROM A HOUSE FIRE. WAY TO GO GUYS. ... AND A CHIHUAHUA NAMED MIDGE WILL BECOME THE SMALLEST DRUG DOG IN OHIO, ONCE SHE FINISHES TRAINING. NOT A BAD CHOICE. CHIHUAHUAS KNOW FROM LOCO WEED.

AND THOUGH IT'S NOT GOOD NEWS, HERE'S A LOT OF RESPECT FOR MIKE MCCURRY OF WASHINGTON STATE, WHO DIED AFTER FALLING THROUGH THIN ICE WHILE TRYING TO SAVE A DOG THAT WAS DROWNING. IT WASN'T EVEN HIS DOG. I SALUTE YOU, MIKE.