Friday, May 18, 2007
Vending Machine Mystery Solved.
I often hear complaints about the lack of entrepreneurial spirit at local dog parks. Usually from whine-aramers. Well calm down; there's a new Hey Buddy! vending machine at White Rock Lake Dog Park.
Now, instead of having to slurp from a muddy bowl of bulldog slobber, you can fetch yourself a clean, vitamin-fortified bottled water. It's civility and nothing less.
When I saw the bright red machine ensconced in its faux dog house, I knew I had to steal the idea for myself. Unfortunately, it's owned by fashion model and inventor Carlotta Lennox. Even worse, she's patented the thing.
"We've had a prototype machine at the downtown Bark Park since, 2005," she says when I call to find out if she might have passed away without heirs. "But the one at White Rock is the first of the official line."
In it, you'll find flying discs, chew toys, balls, pick-up bags, leashes, collars and other things dog-owners carelessly forget when taking their pets to the park. Carlotta promises to have a suggestion box for items put up by the end of the week, as well as landscaping. "I'm pretty anal about the way I want them to look," she claims.
Ok, so they DO look good, and you won't find better prices on this kind of stuff. You're not going to find a $5 retractable leash at Pet Smart. That's for sure. And on top of all this, Carlotta says 10 percent of the proceeds are going to the park.
"Over the summer, we'll be installing about 10 more machines," crows the blood-thirsty capitalist who's pricing me out of the market. Look for machines not only at parks such as Fort Woof and Grand Prairie's Paw Pals, but also at apartment buildings like Dallas Power & Light. "Part of the idea came from me hating to get up and go to the store for dog food or something at night." She's fortunate to have two black labs, Buster and Bailey, who surely deserve food.
By the way, the "Buddy" in Hey Buddy! is just a made-up name. I wonder if that constitutes fraud.
You're asking yourself, what possible place could Twisted Dog have in this extremely competitive market? I'm way ahead of you.
In response to overwhelming demand (mostly from Kirk on Pegasus News, which has a similar, but-not-as-good story) I'm pleased to announce the grand opening of Twisted Dog's Apparel. Yes, high-quality clothing and goods that you can be proud to own, wear, and receive salutes in as a member of Twisted Dog's Army (and that's copyrighted, dammit).
Will I be giving money to charity? How much money do you think I make if I'm commenting on this site all day long? I AM CHARITY. Won't you please purchase a T-shirt, coffee cup or bumper sticker so that I may eat tonight?
I just need enough cash to get something out of the vending machine.