ETHICS -- HAVE ANY?

THIS MAY BE THE DUMBEST MOVE EVER BY MANKIND. HERE WE HAVE ARMED DOLPHINS, TRAINED TO KILL BY THE U.S. MILITARY, LOOSE IN THE GULF OF MEXICO. ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU PEOPLE KILL EACH OTHER? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET THE REST OF US INVOLVED? HOLY SHIT.

Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

TOO KIND

THE SPCA IN DALLAS HAS RECEIVED SO MANY DONATIONS, THAT THEY'VE RUN OUT OF ROOM. YOU PEOPLE RULE!

THIS IS POSTED ON THEIR SITE ALONG WITH A GREAT STORY AND PICTURES ABOUT HOW THE STAFF VENTURED TO LOUISIANA TO HELP PROCESS AN EXPOSITION CENTER FULL OF LOST ANIMALS:

"Due to the enormous outpouring support of in-kind gifts, the SPCA of Texas has no more room to receive and store in-kind donations at this time. We ask that anyone wishing to donate items please wait and give us time to make room in our storage areas. Thank you for your patience and understanding."

CASH IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED, I'M SURE. BUT THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR COMPASSION!

NOW, BACK TO LICKING MYSELF.

RIDIN' IN STYLE

A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE IN HOUSTON (SHE LETS ME DIG IN HER BACK YARD) SENT ALONG THIS PIC OF SOME OF THE RESCUED KATRINA BROTHERS. THE WINDOWS DON'T ROLL DOWN, BUT IT'S A HELL OF A VEHICLE.

GOOD HUMANS! GOOD HUMANS!

IF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT THE DALLAS SPCA IS DOING TO HELP THE KATRINA PETS CHECK OUT THEIR SITE FOR VERY COOL PIX, INCLUDING THE ONE ABOVE. GREAT NAME FOR A DOG!

AND DONATE SOMETHING. TIME. MONEY. CHILDREN. SOMETHING.

BACK TO BUSINESS

SNIFF MY ASS!

SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT

HELP US!

This great idea originated by the food blog beyond comparison, NYCE.


THE MEDIA HAS FINALLY DECIDED THE HELPLESS ANIMALS IN THE SOUTH ARE WORTH WRITING ABOUT. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS. PLEASE GIVE, EVEN CATS DESERVE IT. (I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT.)

FUCK YOU.

UP THE BEACH

I WENT COASTAL YESTERDAY! THERE'S NO SEAGULL ALIVE THAT DOESN'T FEAR ME!!!! NO DUNE I HAVEN'T PEED ON!!!! NO SAND CRAB I HAVEN'T CHASED BACK DOWN HIS HOLE!!! I RULE THE BEACH!!!

You're lazy

BUT I'M NOT

JUST RIDICULOUS

TODAY I GOT YELLED AT TWICE FOR TRYING TO CHASE CATS. WHY CAN'T I CHASE CATS? CATS CHASE BIRDS, MICE, CRICKETS AND ALL SORTS OF SHIT. I PROMISE I'D NEVER LEAVE A DEAD CAT ON ANYBODY'S DOORSTEP OR TORTURE THE THING (MUCH). IT'S JUST RACISM.

IDIOTS

TODAY SOME LADY PETTED ME ON THE HEAD AND THEN REMARKED THAT SHE HATED DOGS. DO YOU SEE HOW IRRESISTIBLE I AM?

INTERNET PORN

I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I SO GET OFF TO THESE PICS. I COULD JUST LICK MYSELF ALL DAY LONG TO THEM. THOUGH, I'D PROBABLY BE DOING THAT ANYWAY.

SAPS

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO LEFT YOUR INFORMATION AT THE STOP SIGN. I'VE SENT ALL YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS TO SPAMMERS AND IDENTITY THIEVES. AS IF I'D HAVE A PARTY AND INVITE YOU.

R.S.V.PEE

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LETTERS OF CONCERN WHILE I WAS UNEXPECTEDLY ABSENT YESTERDAY, YOU UNCARING BASTARDS.

I'M HAVING A SMALL GET-TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND IN HONOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL BEER FEST. IF YOU PLAN TO COME, PLEASE LEAVE A SQIRT AT THE STOP SIGN ON THE CORNER OF 22ND AND MAIN THAT INCLUDES YOUR BREED, SEX, AGE AND VACCINATION STATUS. NO NEUTERED MALES (LIKE THE GUY ABOVE).

TODAY SUCKS

THERE'S NO SUN. IT'S GRAY AND COLD OUTSIDE AND THAT MAKES LYING ON THE FRONT PORCH INTOLERABLE. IT SUCKS. FUCK EVERYTHING.

THE WHEEL THING

OK, I THINK I HAVE FINALLY REALIZED THAT BICYCLES THEMSELVES ARE NOT TO BE SCARED OF, CHASED OR BARKED AT. I CAN DEAL. IT'S THE PEOPLE THAT ARE ON THE BIKES THAT ARE THE ASSHOLES. AND I CAN'T GET AT THEM BECAUSE THEY CHEAT BY RIDING THE BIKES REALLY FAST.

SKATEBOARDS ARE ANOTHER STORY. I HATE THEM. I GOT SMACKED PRETTY GOOD THE OTHER DAY FOR GOING AFTER ONE. BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT BECAUSE I GOT A PIECE OF SOME SKATE PUNK. THAT'LL TEACH HIM TO RIDE BY ME.

PIC'D UP

HERE IS A PIC SENT TO ME BY A FRIEND. NOTE ITS SIZE. IT'S DOG SIZED. IT IS A PICTURE OF A FAR-AWAY BEACH, WHERE DOGS ROAM FREE. FREE TO RUN IN THE SAND. FREE TO ROLL IN FISH GUTS. FREE TO CHASE SEAGULLS. FREE.

ALSO, POODLES SUCK.

Walk on

HAPPY FRIGGIN' 4TH.

I HAD A MUCH BETTER WEEKEND THAN YOU DID. I WENT ON A MASSIVE HIKE AND SMELLED ALL SORTS OF CRAZY SHIT, FROM BEETLES TO BEAR CRAP. AND ON MONDAY I BARKED MY ASS OFF AT THE FIREWORKS. I'D GO ON, BUT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW MUCH YOUR PITIFUL CELEBRATIONS SUCKED.

I HAVE TO BE NICE

MY "OWNER'S" LITTER MATE GOT A FINE EXAMPLE OF A HOUND RECENTLY. I SAY FINE BECAUSE IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME, EXCEPT NOT NEARLY AS CUTE. BUT PLACING THAT KIND OF EXPECTATION ON ANYBODY IS TOTALLY UNFAIR. CHECK OUT "MOON PIE."

A GOOD NIGHT

PERHAPS TO MAKE UP FOR THE DISMAL CAT DREAM YESTERDAY, I WAS ALLOWED TO LICK SOME STINKY FISH REMNANTS OFF A BBQ GRILL AND LICK SOME USED HAMBURGER PLATES. THE JOY! MAYBE MY EUPHORIA WAS TOO LONG LIVED BECAUSE I ALLOWED A MAILMAN TO PET ME THIS A.M. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.

MY IDIOT OWNER

THE GUY WHO SUPPOSEDLY "OWNS" ME, THE PERSON I TOLERATE BECAUSE HE FEEDS ME FOR FREE (SUCKER), HAD A RETARDED DREAM LAST NIGHT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THE MORON TOLD ME ABOUT IT, BUT HE DREAMT THAT I BECAME FRIENDS WITH A ... CAT!!!

AS FUCKING IF!
MY DAY IS ABSOLUTELY RUINED NOW.

NOW LISTEN HERE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK THEIR DOGS ARE BETTER THAN ME. EVEN TO THE EXTENT THAT THEY POST PICTURES OF THEM ON THE WEB.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THERE ARE NO DOGS BETTER THAN ME! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

AND TAKE THOSE UGLY PICTURES OFF THE WEB.

FUCKING RAIN

DO I WANT TO GET WET? NO! BUT TODAY I HAD TO SIT IN THE RAIN OUTSIDE THE STARBUCKS BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE DIDN'T HAVE COFFEE BEANS. I'M NOT GONNA SAY WHO, BUT HE KNOWS WHO HE IS. THEN, UPON RETURN, I HAD TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO A TOWLING. JESUS CHRIST. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TAKE A SHIT!

WHY I CHASE CATS

FOR BREAKFAST TODAY I HAD A NIP OF CAT SHIT. I THINK IT WAS TABBY, MAYBE CALICO. IT WAS RICH, ROBUST, SLIGHTLY WARM AND HAD A NICE TOUCH OF VERMICULITE. TRES GOURMET!

MY ASS, YOUR YARD

HEY YOU AT 2237 YAKIMA STREET. I TOOK A DUMP IN YOUR YARD. LET'S SEE YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Your dog is nothing.

I PEE ON YOUR DOG! I PEE ON HIM! YOUR DOG IS NO MATCH FOR ME!